Ever found yourself in a social situation, and couldn’t find something to say to jumpstart a conversation with a total stranger? How about you knowing what you want to say, but couldn’t figure out exactly HOW to say it or how to approach the situation? Here are some tips to help you talk to anyone, anytime. By mastering these tips, you will be transforming your social game, and you will be able to make solid connections with new people, which can help you in your personal or business life.
It is extremely important to approach anyone with a certain level of energy. Think about it, nobody wants to be around someone whose energy is plodding. By approaching with a smile and a positive vibe about you, you will dramatically increase your chances of getting a positive reception. Enthusiasm is highly addictive, and in no time, the person you are speaking with will be more upbeat, happier, and will perceive you in a positive light.
When you are speaking with someone, it is important to look at them in the eyes. Now, for shy people, this can be a challenge, but you have to force yourself to do it. Get out of your comfort zone, and make an effort to initiate eye contact. Let’s face it, people trust and open themselves more through the eyes than with any other body part. As a matter of fact, lack of eye contact is associated with deceitfulness, so it is crucial not to be labeled as such right off the bat. Now, you do not need to keep eye contact forever. In fact, it is a good technique to gaze away for a bit and then return the eye contact. You don’t want to make the other person too uncomfortable, but you do want to convey a trustworthy image.
Focus on what they want
When trying to spark a conversation out of the blue with a stranger, most people fail in that they focus too much on what they want out of the ordeal. What you need to do is flip that on its head, and focus on what that other person wants. It’s very easy to figure out, just analyze the situation and ask yourself, what is this person doing here? What are they currently doing? What are they trying to get out of being here? Here’s the kicker, the vast majority of people are just waiting for someone with something interesting to say to come and talk to them. Even better if that something to say has to do with them. You can be that person!
Asking the question why is a wonderful way to keep the conversation going, once you have established contact. It’s such a good question, which requires elaboration, so it will get the person talking for quite a bit. From what they say, you can then figure out a myriad of other topics to continue the conversation. Best of all, asking why shows genuine interest and shows that you are interested in what this person has to share.
The way to really make people feel at ease with you and to make them really enjoy your company, is to appeal to their ego. Everyone has an ego, and everyone enjoys being complimented. Use this to your advantage to sway the conversation into your favor. Praise people, and you will notice that your conversations are longer, better, and their perception of the whole thing will be incredibly more positive.
Leave on a high note
There is nothing worse than to linger around too long. Ever been in that situation, when there is nothing left to say, and it gets awkwardly quiet? Your goal should be to leave your audience wanting more. So always make sure to leave on a high note, and be the one to end the conversation. This conveys an image of control, and they will want to continue this conversation at another time in the future. Imagine a stand up comedian finishing his set with his worst jokes. Would you want to see him perform again? Not so much. However, if he leaves you cracking up with his best jokes, you will be dying to see him again! So always make sure to leave all conversations on a high note.
The bottom line is that the more you talk and the more you spark conversations, the better you get at it. So take the habit of starting a conversation with anyone, about any topics, anywhere you might find yourself. Could be at the bus stop, waiting in line at the bank, or at a party where you don’t know anyone. By doing so, you will not only become better and better at conversing with people, but this added layer of socialization to your life, will undoubtedly make you a happier person overall 😉