yourself


“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”

This quote is from the post 20 Spiritual Quotes From Eckhart Tolle. It got me to thinking about how so many people in this world have a hard time accepting themselves. If you want any shot at finding true happiness and having any type of moderate success, you must accept who you are. Here are a few points that can help you find an easy path towards self acceptance:

Stop resisting what already “is”
The first step into learning to accept yourself is to end the opposition to life itself. What I mean by this, is that there are countless number of people in this world that keep dwelling on something that cannot be changed. They become miserable because they want something else than what life is willing to give them. It’s that “grass is always greener at the neighbor’s” mentality. Stop feeling sorry or hating the cards that you were dealt, and learn to embrace everything that life has thrown your way paxil paroxetine hcl. The moment you stop resisting what “is”, you gain a higher level of appreciation for whatever “it is”.

You are not who you “think” you are
What I mean by this, is that we have all grown up with certain comments and certain events that has given us this “image” of who we think we are. For example, you may have been told that you had a big nose or an ugly smile, and a certain part of your psyche has accepted that as fact, when in fact, it was just someone’s opinion and not reality. Now you go through life thinking this is real, and have a hard time accepting yourself because of it. Know that everyone sees things differently, and that not one opinion is more important than any other….except your own! Stop putting stock into what others think of you and how they perceive you. Understand that what some people may see as fault, some may see as quality. Therefore, the only constant is your own opinion, and since you know yourself better than anyone, start embracing everything that is great about you 🙂

Your uniqueness is your strength
Following from my point above about embracing all that is great about you, you should welcome all that is unique about you. There are 6 billion people on this planet and not one is exactly the same as another. You see, life is all about everything being particularly unique. Do not waste your time wishing you were someone else. Sure, you may find inspiration from other people & admire other things, but you should be aware that there is only one of you in this world, and you owe it to life and to yourself to be the best “you” that you can possibly be! Whatever is unique about you, accept it with open arms, as this is what defines you and what makes you who you are in comparison with other people. You may have grown up thinking that being different is not good, because people around you told you so, but in reality, uniqueness is a very valuable asset. So learn to cherish it.

Be open to improving
Life is all about evolving. Life on earth isn’t the same now as it was 100 years ago or 1000 years ago. You are probably a very different person than you were just a few years ago. This is because you are in a constant state of evolution. Resisting this, and having an attitude about always wanting to remain the same is self defeating. We all change, like it or not. Open yourself to this fact and you will have a deeper understanding of your own life and how you should be progressing through it. Some people are afraid of change, but notice that I say ‘improving’. You don’t need to worry about losing yourself to evolution in case you like who you are right now. Just know that whoever you are now, you are slowly getting better and better, and that is not a loss of oneself but an acquisition of more of the goodness that makes you who you are today.  Whomever you might be today, it is not a final state.  That in itself, is hope for a greater tomorrow, which should make accepting who you are today that much easier.

I feel that by overcoming the resistance to what already is, removing tainted thoughts about who you are due to some occurrences in your past, embracing what makes you different than everyone else, and being open to a constant state of improvement, you can be highly successful in learning to accept yourself. The moment you start accepting yourself and be at peace with it, that’s the moment where life starts to truly work for you, and this my friend can be incredibly life changing 🙂

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9 Comments

  1. Some questions/comments:
    1. “Stop resisting what is.” How? Most of “what is” really, really sucks – and I don’t mean my life… I mean HUMANITY. Many of the things people “embrace” are the very things killing this planet – by proxy or otherwise. The most precious gift humanity could give Mother Nature would be self-destruction.
    2. “You are not who you think you are.” This section implies that one has internalized other peoples comments or opinions. What if no one did that but me? I – for one – DO have a very ugly smile. No one on earth could look at the mess my teeth are and call it pleasant. Who I am is an idiot with an ugly smile. Fact, not opinion. Therefore socialization is out – readers of this blog may (or may not) be able to interact with me without comment or obvious staring…. most of the world can’t. There is zero chance I can have them fixed as the expense is FAR beyond anything I could save for given the number of working years I have left.
    3. “Your uniqueness is your strength.” I fail to see how any of us are unique beyond the utterly superficial. And as far as “owe it to life to be the best…” is concerned: Why? Why do I owe life anything more than life owes me? Life’s given me lemons – I’ll go to hell before I hand life a glass of lemonade back…. I’ll be drinkin’ that sucker myself and life can die of thirst.
    4. [Fact: everything changes] “Open yourself to this fact and you will have a deeper understanding of your own life and how you should be progressing through it. I am aware that everything changes (and I hate that) and that there is nothing I can do (which I also hate) to change that. This doesn’t deepen my understanding of my life, nor does it provide me any direction (which would go a long way towards lessening the hate with which I view existence) in which to go.
    Perhaps I am missing what “open yourself” means here….?

    I say/ask this not to be argumentative. I have been trying to find an acceptance of “self” for some time now. There is nothing more I could wish for than to not hate life (God, existence, whatever) slightly more than I hate my self.

    I’ve asked these same things of many authors over the last year and a half or so. Still waiting for an answer that answers – and doesn’t just raise more questions.

    p.s. Here’s another for the brave among you: “What – exactly – is love?” I’ve never felt it given to me.

    Reply
  2. My brother was mentioning something like this the other day….

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  3. Hi Jazzie,

    Yours is an example that so many people go through life with, thank you for sharing it! This is why we should not put so much weight into what others are saying, because in the end, they do not know you as much as you know yourself. If you believe you are not a shy or quiet person, then that should be the opinion to go with. Even if a few people around you say so, remember that it’s just a few out of the billions on the planet…so don’t let their opinion sway you to believe them. Just continue to be yourself and embrace the way you are, regardless of what others think of you 🙂

    Reply
  4. Thank you, Frederic.

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  5. Frederic,
    Since discovering your site, I regularly read your blog. Your work is appreciated more than you will ever know. You give so much of yourself in the service of helping others along the path. Thank you.

    Reply
  6. I’ve always thought that your “uniqueness” comes from how well you can take different aspects about what you love about everyone around you and mold it into your personality. For example, I know I’m a unique person. However, I believe I’m this way because I look at other people for inspiration – if I see a quality that another person has that I love, I try to emulate that quality and fit it into my persona. We all have different parts of other people embedded in our personalities – it’s how we modify our personalities over time that causes our uniqueness. Nobody is born “truly unique” or “purely themselves” or anything like that.

    Just my two cents! Offering an alternate viewpoint. 😛

    Reply
  7. I’ve always thought that your “uniqueness” comes from how well you can take different aspects about what you love about everyone around you and mold it into your personality. For example, I know I’m a unique person. However, I believe I’m this way because I look at other people for inspiration – if I see a quality that another person has that I love, I try to emulate that quality and fit it into my persona. We all have different parts of other people embedded in our personalities – it’s how we modify our personalities over time that causes our uniqueness. Nobody is born “truly unique” or “purely themselves” or anything like that.

    Just my two cents! Offering an alternate viewpoint. 😛

    Reply
  8. Thanks for your post. I’ve been trying to “accept myself” for a very long time. For as long as I can remember, people (including family and co-workers) have always told me that I’m “quiet” or “shy” and it would make me so angry. I don’t see myself as quiet. So I would exhaust myself to not seem “quiet”. But I’m very talktative, maybe not as much as others, but I talk to a lot of people and I feel I’m outgoing. The comment is especially irritating when it comes from someone who doesn’t even know me as a person! I try not to let it bother me, but when you’ve had people telling you the same thing all your life, you start to believe it.

    Reply
  9. Thanks for your post. I’ve been trying to “accept myself” for a very long time. For as long as I can remember, people (including family and co-workers) have always told me that I’m “quiet” or “shy” and it would make me so angry. I don’t see myself as quiet. So I would exhaust myself to not seem “quiet”. But I’m very talktative, maybe not as much as others, but I talk to a lot of people and I feel I’m outgoing. The comment is especially irritating when it comes from someone who doesn’t even know me as a person! I try not to let it bother me, but when you’ve had people telling you the same thing all your life, you start to believe it.

    Reply

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