by Brian Tracy

The Greatest Obstacle to Success
The fear of failure is the single greatest obstacle to success in adult life. Taken to its extreme, we become totally pre-occupied with not making a mistake, with seeking for security above all other considerations. The experience of the fear of failure is in the words of “I can’t”, “I can’t.” We feel it in the front of the body, starting at the solar plexus and moving up to the rapid beating of the heart, rapid breathing and a tight throat. We also experience this fear in the bladder and in the irresistible need to run to the bathroom.

The Fear of Rejection Holds You Back
The second major fear that interferes with performance and inhibits expression, is the fear of rejection. We learn this when our parents make their love conditional upon our behavior. If we do what pleases them, they give us love and approval. If we do something they don’t like, they withdraw their love and approval — which we interpret as rejection.

The Roots of Type A Behavior
As adults, people raised with conditional love become preoccupied with the opinions of others. Many men develop Type A behavior which is characterized by hostility, suspicion and an obsession with performance to some undetermined high standard. This is expressed in the attitude of “I have to,” I have to,” and is associated with the feeling that “I have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the boss” who has become a surrogate parent.

The Most Common Trap
More than 99 percent of adults experience both these fears of failure and rejection. They are caught in the trap of feeling, “I can’t,” but “I have to,” “I have to,” but “I can’t.”

The Key to Peak Performance
The antidote to these fears is the development of courage, character and self-esteem. The opposite of fear is actually love, self-love and self-respect. Acting with courage in a fearful situation is simply a technique that boosts our regard for ourselves to such a degree that our fears subside and lose their ability to effect our behavior and our decisions.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do to increase your self-esteem and self-confidence and overcome your fears.

First, realize and accept that you can do anything you put your mind to. Repeat the words, “I can do it! I can do it!” whenever you feel afraid for any reason.

Second, continually think of yourself as a valuable and important person and remember that temporary failure is the way you learn how to succeed.

Build Unshakable Self-Confidence
You probably already know that the most successful people have incredible levels of self-confidence. They’ve accomplished great levels of success and happiness in their lives and seem to be unstoppable in everything that they do. The fact is that when you develop unshakable self-confidence your whole world will change for the better. Learn how with Brian Tracy’s The Science of Self-Confidence Training Kit

Original article found at: http://blogs.briantracy.com/public/item/219296

Published by @INeedMotivation

8 Comments

  1. thank you so cool good job for forward always

    Reply
  2. We all give to feelings and that’s a deadly trap. When you’re not able to get beyond your feelings you won’t be able to gain the confidence that most are so desperately trying to accomplish.

    It’s going forward little by little that’s the trick. It’s the staying focused on consistent action that’s the trick. It’s the having courage in spite of our fears that’s the trick.
    Good post

    Linda

    Reply
  3. We all give to feelings and that’s a deadly trap. When you’re not able to get beyond your feelings you won’t be able to gain the confidence that most are so desperately trying to accomplish.

    It’s going forward little by little that’s the trick. It’s the staying focused on consistent action that’s the trick. It’s the having courage in spite of our fears that’s the trick.
    Good post

    Linda

    Reply
  4. Good post!
    The first step you need to do to change your behavior and
    attitude for the better is to believe that it is possible
    for you to change it.

    Building the inner self is the most important key to success.
    Everything starts from the inside. It is the inside that determine
    the outside.

    If your self-confidence is high, you’ll make confident decision
    that leads you into living a more successful life.

    So shape your inner self today. Great sharing.

    Reply
  5. Good post!
    The first step you need to do to change your behavior and
    attitude for the better is to believe that it is possible
    for you to change it.

    Building the inner self is the most important key to success.
    Everything starts from the inside. It is the inside that determine
    the outside.

    If your self-confidence is high, you’ll make confident decision
    that leads you into living a more successful life.

    So shape your inner self today. Great sharing.

    Reply
  6. What’s with the bitterness?

    First of all, any advice can be taken the wrong way, which is what you did here. With any advice, you need to be realistic. You can’t decide that you want to fly, and then say, I failed because i can’t fly. You have to put things into perspective.

    When you really want something, you will do all the little things necessary to have the best opportunity at making it happen. Sure abilities, age, money and so on can affect a situation. However, you can have all these attributes and with such a poor attitude you won’t get anywhere either.

    The lesson here is that attitude can make you go a long way.

    Reply
  7. “First, realize and accept that you can do anything you put your mind to.”

    This is such utter nonsense ! How absolutely damaging and hurtful. Different people have different capabilities, and if this were true, I could say that I will discover a cure for cancer, and when my lack of ability prevents me from doing so, is it because I just I didn’t “set my mind to it ” enough?
    It’s almost as bad as that other nasty phrase… “you failed because you just didn’t want it enough” What utter crap. I may really want to become a master at a certain discipline, but innate ability, money, age, free time, talent, opportunity, are all things that will prevent someone from achieving a goal. It has nothing to do with putting your mind to it or wanting it enough !

    Reply
  8. “First, realize and accept that you can do anything you put your mind to.”

    This is such utter nonsense ! How absolutely damaging and hurtful. Different people have different capabilities, and if this were true, I could say that I will discover a cure for cancer, and when my lack of ability prevents me from doing so, is it because I just I didn’t “set my mind to it ” enough?
    It’s almost as bad as that other nasty phrase… “you failed because you just didn’t want it enough” What utter crap. I may really want to become a master at a certain discipline, but innate ability, money, age, free time, talent, opportunity, are all things that will prevent someone from achieving a goal. It has nothing to do with putting your mind to it or wanting it enough !

    Reply

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