Don’t you find life to always be filled with stress? Doesn’t it seem like there is always something that happens which encompasses our entire attention, and thus drain our positive energy? As our society grows more and more complex, finding true peace becomes more like trying to find an oasis in the desert. My life is a busy one as well, as running a company and all of the stress & demands that comes with it, definitely takes its toll over time. Therefore, I wanted to take this opportunity to share with you some of the methods that I use in my life to find peace and disconnect from the daily routine:
Accept what is
There is only so much we can affect. What we cannot change, what we cannot influence no matter what, should not be a concern to us. This is what I notice with so many people, in that we focus and linger on things which we have no control over. Why worry about something that all the worrying in the world will not change? Why care about what other people think of us when we’re not even sure what it is they are actually thinking? Once you open the blinds to this fact, and start accepting what is that you cannot change, you automatically relieve yourself of a mountain of stress and anxiety. It’s like a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders. Taking this path is following a road towards peace.
If you do not meditate yet, you are missing out on a very important activity that can change your life. Meditating for 20 minutes daily can have an enormous impact in all areas of your life. Take a look at this post I wrote 100 Benefits of Meditation. If that doesn’t convince you to start meditating, I don’t know what will! If you have a lot on your mind and you feel like your thoughts are driving you crazy, meditation can help you find peace. Simply close everything, sit back, close your eyes, and clear your mind of every single thought. Focus on the emptiness. You will be surprised what a mere 20 minutes of meditation can do to turn things around for you. If you have trouble meditating, I would suggest getting a professional guided meditation CD, which will help you get used to this level of peacefulness 😉
Spend time in nature
We spend so much time confined in buildings of steel and concrete and bricks that we quickly forget where we come from. It is natural for us to be in nature, and this is why it feels so good and it is so peaceful when you take a walk in a park or bike on a trail in the forest. As I am typing this blog, I am looking out my window to this gigantic tree in front of my house. Watching its stillness, with the wind blowing through its branches calmly, it is a sight that not only inspires me, but that I find peace within it. I have blogged before about how I enjoy biking and one of the reasons is that it brings me closer to nature. It is something you just can’t experience in a car. If you feel overwhelmed, take a stroll outside where there are tons of trees and far from the city. Be there and just enjoy the sights, the sounds, and the peace.
Learn the power of a smile
Whenever you are laughing or smiling, something interesting happens. Not only does something happen on a chemical level to make you feel better, but it also stops all stress and negativity from entering your psyche. A simple smile can make such a difference. For example, the other day I mishandled a dish and it fell on the floor, breaking into pieces, creating a big mess. Now, I could have been angry with myself for being clumsy and thinking “here’s another reason why life sucks!”. But I did the opposite. I began to smile and kind of make fun of myself for not being able to hold on to that plate properly. As I cleaned up the mess, there was no bitterness or anger. As a matter of fact, I did it with a smile on my face…I did it with peace. So whenever you find yourself in a similar predicament, just think of the silver lining, and don’t be shy to poke fun at yourself. You will quickly realize that peace finds its way much more easily to you when you smile.
What I mean by this is that most of the time, we are so consumed within our own problems that we can no longer see the forest from the trees. Therefore, it helps to remind ourselves how big the world is. Take a moment and read up about some other countries, cultures, and the likes. Be aware that the world does not revolve around your problems. I find that when I hear about a tsunami or an earthquake killing hundreds of thousands of people on the other side of the world, my problems aren’t really “problems”. Looking beyond ourselves is very important in finding peace and it leads me to my next point.
Care about others
You will never find peace by being self-consumed and only worrying about your own needs and wants. When you begin to genuinely care about other people, so much goodness comes right out. This only helps into solidifying your inner peace. It can be people close to you or pure strangers, but any act of kindness and goodwill eases your way towards peace. When I help other people, I stop focusing on my so-called problems and realize that my life isn’t so bad after all. This rids my entire being of all the stress and feelings of overwhelm. There is great peace and wisdom in thinking and caring about other people, which we are blind to when we are too deep within our own selfish ways.
Never lose hope
Hope is something you can never afford to lose. With hope you always have a path towards peace. Whenever we get too stressed out and overwhelmed within our own life, we forget that hope. We forget that the sun always shines after a rainy day, and that this is merely a bump in the road. I find immense peace in just knowing, deep within my heart, that everything will be ok. With hope, I know that whatever is seemingly terrible, is only temporary and that soon enough, things will be just fine. This lifts off all of that negativity from my entire being, and I feel better pretty much instantly.
Embrace your beliefs
I am not one to pick or favor one belief system over another, so whatever it is that you believe in, embrace it with your entire being. Be within your faith 100% and peace will find its way into your heart. Now, we may all disagree on each other’s beliefs but one thing we must all agree on is that having a solid, healthy faith is crucial in founding a proper conscience that helps into guiding us towards peace and wisdom. There is a reason why research has shown that people that are deeply devoted to their faith have a higher life expectancy and are less likely to have diseases such as cancer. This is because they experience more inner peace, which is important if you want to increase the quality of your life.
One thing that provides us with much stress in life is the fact that we always worry about not having all the answers. Just accepting that you do not know everything, and that you are open to always keep learning is a tremendous step to take towards achieving inner peace. I find great joy in learning all kinds of different things, and just being aware that I am growing as a person each and every day provides me with great feelings of peace. Accept that life is one big journey of never-ending learning and you will find yourself closer to experiencing true peace within yourself.
Live in the present moment
Most of the time, what we worry about is relating to something either in the past, or something that hasn’t happened. Living in the present moment erases all such thoughts. Why worry about something in the past that we cannot ever change? (see point #1, accept what is). Why worry about something that we are not even sure will happen or not? This is why in the present moment, you find true inner peace. In the present moment, there are no problems and no concerns. There is only stillness, and it is within that stillness that you can uncover peace. I used to be such a person that worried all the time, to the point where I had trouble sleeping. Once I learned to live in the present moment, I stopped thinking about the past and any potential future, and just worried about being ever-present in each and every moment. My life is definitely more peaceful since then!
I am positive that this list can help you find your inner peace. If you require more wisdom and reading on the subject, I highly recommend The Path to Tranquillity by the Dalai Lama. It’s a terrific little book full of wisdom, and reading just a page each day is really inspiring. You might also want to check out Stillness Speaks by Eckhart Tolle and another great book called The Path to Love by Deepak Chopra.
Thank you for this article…..I lost my family behind my foolishness. I am going to use these tactics to find myself again. Thank you!
Hi sir, how can i maintane regularity in meditation . Even i tried but i fail
Thank u.. im currently in a process of improving myself. This article is very helpful.
Hey I’m Toni I’m currently trying to find inner peace, (Im having sleepless nights, I’m stressed and I overthink ect)… is so hard for me but I’m determine! I lost my mom to cancer and I’m still dealing with it 5 years later, I find it hard to let go of things. Practicing this daily I believe I could find inner peace. I found this article so helpful thank you.
I can’t believe you said having a belief in a religion is some kind of foundation for proper conscious….. wow. What about us atheists? You think we cannot find piece and we will develop cancer? How uneducated of you. Carcinogens are the main cause of cancer. I was hoping to get some good tips but after reading the whole religion thing I feel like there are no more normal people in this world…
I interpreted what the writter said, what ever your believe embrace it whole heartily. So if you believe in nothing embrace it.
Reading these article helped me already because I was this kinda person who think of something n take it with heart, i always wanted anything to make sense,getting easily hear hurt whenever things don’t go my way,if felt hurted, the only way was crying,i will feel much better after not knowing um causing depression n stress, bittenes n anger became my friends,um so tired of always being sad n unhappy all the time,I do pray n trust that God will change my inner part n take control of my life,also to stop worrying about unchangeable things.#will let go n be a happiest woman in the world
I love this article ❤
Good read. The wanting to know all the answers is definitely me. Whenever I’m into something, I research what’s best, coolest or just to find answers ob questions I havr about that thing. So what to do here? Just do something random? It might be easier to answer if you know what the “thing” is. I’m talking about games. In most games you get to choose what kind of character to play and I keep thinking whole days and before sleeping (so falling asleep takes long). Also I think alot about theories in movies such as Star Wars and how the movie would be when they changed something, but that is something that worries can’t change, so I will accept that it won’t change. Then I still have the problem about living in the present moment: I’ve done some embarassing things in the past and I forget about it, but other people keep digging it up. What to do about this? If I ignore them, they say: “Why are you ignoring me?!”
Then with the nature and meditating thing; I don’t feel better in nature. I especially get irritated by insects and meditating doesn’t work, because I keep thinking about what I described above.
Mark van Tienen
I feel haunted I feel that I’ve failed in life. Most of all I feel sad. I find it hard to get inner peace. I’m drifting.
With me it’s hard to try and find peace within me…
Dear one & all,
As I am experiencing stress, tension, and lack of inner peace of mind – I am in-need peace-loving centers to prevent this illness from me.
Dear one & all,
Happy wishes & greetings with the grace of Almighty!
Kindly help me to overcome my mental stress, strain etc.
I lost my son ,Paolo, aged only 23 to cancer , last year . I am finding life very hard without him . Paolo was my world . I love and miss him every day .
My family dont bother with me and I dont have any friends . I have tried bereavement councilling but it didnt really help me .
I need to find some kind of peace ! Can anyone out there give me some advice on what I can do to help myself ?
Thank you sir , this is really help full. I want to thank all the other people like you in this world , who thinks that helping others is a good thing . Because everyone do not have such angels like you in this life . Thank you so much sir…..
inner peace is hard to find,i often wake up scared in the morning,and i start asking my self questions on what could be the cause.
When we heard this ” inner peace”, some positiveness comes automatically. In this busy and hectic life most of us are not happy; but we all wanted to be happy. So the question arises in our mind automatically;
I am a muslim. I was trying to find peace for a very long time. And i found it in prayer and charity. I looked for raw islam. I realised its simply just a platform where you can purify yourself. I realised how peaceful real islam is. I became open minded. I got to know my surroundings. I helped gather the community of all sizes shapes, beliefs and colours to raise funds for those who suffer. And
that is how i found inner peace. It truly feels really good, you are a completely different and friendly person. You accept yourself for the way you look. You feel beautiful. You look bright and you are in brighter mood, everyone would want to be around you.
thank you very much
the article did ignite a shadow of light deep within my chest. However some points are just good to tell, but hard to be applied. Anyhow I will try some of putting in mind that caring for others is the reasons of my depression as my wife run with my only, first 6 months child…but please keep me posted with relevant subjects
thank you again
i liked the article as really find peace when read.
Great Article !
It pretty much sums up how finding your inner peace can make a great difference in your perspective in life. By realizing this 5 steps, one can appreciate more in life and learn to value what’s more important.
Thanks for sharing this thought to us! We’ve learned a lot from this steps.
I’ve also wanted to share my view on how finding your inner peace can make a difference. Please check my website and join me on my crusade in making a difference in this world by starting it whithin ourselves. Thank you again and God bless !
excellent work .
Thank you so much for this. Been having a lot of trouble lately with this and this article is really helping me
First of all I would like to thank you for sharing your live or experience. I m going true god’s curse so I badly need this kinda articles . I will write again ………
Thanks for lovely artical.but my problam is complecated.i have my own company.as a head of the company.i dont have any holiday.it make stress on me.everything i have.but end of the day i fell am so alon.i thing i have nothing.i am so alon.will you kindly say me what is the reason after it.what will give me red from this stress….
Looking forward to your answear 🙂
Thank you for sharing. But practically speaking, can we bring these changes in our life ? I work in Mumbai. Commuting itself takes 4 hours. Add another 9 hours of Work i.e., 13 hours of my life goes into my work. This is the time when I cannot be myself. I am totally surrounded by work related stress and issues during this time. Random thoughts do come to my mind about what I could have been but then there is no time to think harder. Few seconds later I have no option but to get back to work. Sometimes I imagine what was life in old times. Were people under so much unwanted stress ?? I am not sure where I am heading. I know for sure is that I have diverted from the path where I wanted to be. All i know is at the end of the day I am frustrated, I am depressed, I have no thoughts on my mind. I am empty. I have lost the courage of standing up again. I know I need help !! I now I need motivation !! But above all these needs and wants the most I need is “Peace” !!
Very encouraging and eye opener. I wish I have read your comments and advice years ago. I would not gave gotten myself to the stage iam now. Worries, anxiety, uncontrollable stress have almost taken over my life. Religiously I need to forgo a lot of things but I need to open up a lot of things to somebody
Very good article on finding the true path to inner satisfaction.
Thanks for sharing!
Fabulous post! I love every point you make about finding inner peace. I especially love to spend time with nature and meditate. There is a great book out by Mary Reynolds Thompson titled, “Embrace Your Inner Wild: 52 Reflections for an Eco-Centric World”. As a facilitator of poetry therapy, the author draws on Earth’s metaphors to help us shift our consciousness and heal the false divide between Earth and soul.
I am so much trying to be like ( perfect for them ) that I am scared of doing mistakes and letting them down now , I am worried of what other will think if I do something that does not make sense to them…
I feel like I am sacrificing my true self just to compete with there expectations I am just unable to understand my self…. guide me..
I am living away from my family. I have been away for months to studyso i was missing my family so much and i got frustated and i couldn’t concentrate on my studies. But this article helped me so much to have mind peace and concentrate on my studies.
Do a lot of cosmic meditation.to get inner peace quickly.
hello! i have never been this worried like this about my life till this day. i’m truly a religious person and i always pray. my problems are about my boyfriend how things changed after i met him. my way of thinking, my goals, and my dreams have changed. all i want to do is be with him, and so does he. This were it gets weird im not happy with the simple things he does i got so frustrated when it got to the point were i could no longer handle it so i decided to tell him i could no longer be with him because im simply not happy with our relationship but then he told me how much he loves me and to never bring this up again. After i hanged up i went on and searched some staffs about self control,positive thinking and later about inner peace and so i read this article, it was so help full so i decided to join the conversation. to find help! because im still thinking about my boyfriend and i cant think of anything else. it seems easy and fixable when its read but trust me! i lost myself please help me!
These are great suggestions and I like the references to more detailed material. Even the optimist needs guidance, and this blog provides it. Thank you!
One point that u mentioned was not thinking & being worried about the future & the past,but what concerns me is all about these days …
plz guide me how to deal with this problem
I am so so so exhausted with this boring life. I dont have self confidence and I think I am not attractive, a coward man who always tried to be nice and always afraid of what other people think of him. Always wanted to be romantic but never understood what is love. every day put on a gentleman mask but nobody knows he is coward. I was not this. I changed to worse and now immigrated and alone in states. No destiny. No future, I dont know why I am alive, what is the reason?
I just want this to be over. Family and people think I am a good man but deep inside I know I am a weak an, a looser, This is so good that I can confess here. I tried a lot of time to find peace inside, but it did not work. I am so tired. Not satisfied with my job, with my face, with my body, with nothing. everything is temporary. Recently I feel some obsessions. like OCD. I know you guys will say I need help and you are right, I have got a serious problem but I cant afford the doctors even. ohhhh I wish everything was just a nightmare and I wake up and find everything is ok.
The main issue is that you keep focusing on what you deem negative about yourself. We all have good and bad and things we don’t like about ourselves, but what we focus on defines our experience in life. You have good in you, start to focus on that. And you are here for a reason, it may not be obvious now, but you are living your life for a reason. Approach your life by slowly tweaking it towards a more positive outlook and remember, nothing will ever change unless you take some action. No matter how small, start making changes towards the experience that you want to have in your life. I hope this helps you somehow…
“…Peace of mind is matter of attention…!!”
How I found my inner peace, my wife. last year I was diagnosed with depression, however by doing theses simple things I turned it round;
. Jogging 30miles per week
. Walking when ever we can approx 30 miles per week
. Healthy eating;
. My wife makes the best healthy dishes ever
. Listen to Paul Santisis on youtube mind silence
. Just be a better person
Finally, have trust in someone you love, my wife an inspiration.
I love reading blogs like this one because as you read them you notice things other than your worry and as soon as you notice the other things your mind expands and allows you to finally rid yourself of all the negativity and fill yourself with much more meaningful and positive stuff like this reading. Thank you so much who ever wrote this, you really helped me out through a hard time.
this is a good article , ya i agree but i think some points are missing in them but i dont know what the points are. i am doing all these thing and i am a good person with selfmotivation but still sometimes i get too depressed. i dont find what to do other than reading motivational stories and quotes on net. it happens once in 3 months. i dont know why?
i lives away from home in Bhopal India. i am a student.Doing engineering. so plz help me why it happens to me. ( their us no tension of girlfrnd and all other stuff as i m single).
Have clearer goals, make them present every day, and work towards them. When people feel depressed, usually they do not have good solid goals to look forward to. If you have something amazing to look forward to, there is no way you can get depressed. You get excited and you work towards it. Write down your goals and see what happens, I’m sure it will help you.
well written 🙂 will definately try 🙂
I am recovering from domestic abuse (8 years long) and I am trying to share my recovery on my site to help others. But, today I want to thank you, truly, for helping me find inner peace in 10 ways! I have shared this with ladies in a support group and they are grateful. xoxo Karma
Glad this article was helpful for you. All the best!
This helped me a lot! Thank you. x
Thank you in profound gratitude. The formula for peace wrapped up in a neet package. The ksy message for me from this is PEACE has to be cultivated from within, nurtured from within and reflected outwards to the world.
My life-long quest is to stay in my peace zone while dealing with indignation and staying in control. Shalom.
Inner piece strengthn my life.
i everyday thought who am i..who is god..god always present with us in this world..why am so loving lonly..please anybody can say why am thought that..
i have a lot of pain , remembering the past & thinking about the future
no one can get it , no one appreciates what i’ve been through
a lot of people actually doesn’t care
hatred has filled up a lot of people in here
another thing is that , it’s like i can’t beat the bad demon inside me
but i know it will end , but just in the moment i’m upset
thanks a lot for your words , it helped me a lot too since i needed some inspirational words to relax my mind
i haven’t lost hope in humanity & i won’t
i’m sure everything will be just fine , someday .
Love your article. I am at my lowest point of life. And this article have given me a feeling that I’m not alone.
I love my parents a lot.My peace of mind gets disturbed when they say something to me which is not soft or loud.After this i don’t like to anything but sleep.Please help.
yo yo yo, that made me find true peace =)
This is amazing I really want to get into this I feel I have way to much stress and like you said none of it really is controllable our has to do with work I just find it hard to be able to sit still and not have 100 thoughts running threw my head
PEACE……….. IN ARABIC MEANS ISLAM……….. I HUNTED FOR PEACE FOR MANY MANY YEARS….. I FINALLY FOUND THE REAL PEACE IN ISLAM. ALL THE GREAT PROPHETS WHO CAME TO ENLIGHTEN THE MANKIND PREACHED NOTHING BUT PEACE, PEACE WITH THE CREATOR, PEACE WITHIN YOUR OWNSELF AND PEACE WITH EVERYTHING AROUND US……. LETS PRACTICE PEACE LETS LIVE PEACEFULLY AND LETS PREACH PEACE
Wonderful tips. I particularly like ‘Think Outwardly.” Not only does it shift our focus to help us in viewing a larger perspective, but it can also empower us to take inspired actions to make a positive difference in the lives of others. Even smiling at a stranger can make a difference, and uplift our own hearts and lives, as well. Thank you for these great reminders.
i have been trying to find peace for a long time its something i have always struggled with i just get lost in my head so much its frustrating sometimes i can be watching tv without a care in the world and all of a sudden i start feeling upset for no reason like i almost dont belong i have tried meditation many times its very uplifting at times i have even moved to more advanced things such as basic thi chi just feel very lost at this juncture i have read changing my diet could help alot idk im just looking for true inner peace and i want to know everyrthing i can do to achieve this
This is so helpful. I came on this website
Because for a long time I have been beating
Myself up about my relatives and the way they treat
Me. It is like I am not family to them. And I
Wondered for so long why and what have
I done to them to treat me this way. But
When I read things like don’t dwell so much
In something that you can’t change. Lost
My mom at 4 yrs and grew up with different
People and no one ever showed me the love
I thought I deserved but now am not
Going to focus on that just going to learn to
Love myself to find the peace am looking for
Many thanks for all your wise words
Really liked the ways.I appreciate them with full heart. Hope to follow it. 🙂
Silence is a source of great strength.
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.
Peace begins with a smile.
My name is Dianne, and I too am looking for my inner Peace. All these blogs were very helpfull in directing me to which path I should take. I have been fighting depression for quite a while, in this process I have hurt the ones I love the most. I have pushed them so far away. Don’t know how to regain there trust. I need my daughter and husbands love back. Do I take these other steps first, work on my inner peace first. I hope there love will fall back to me. My daughter is 5 and since she was 3 she has only known an unhappy mom.
Usually, I tell myself , there is always someone worse off than me. Today, I let my temper take control. The nurshing home calling my sister and telling her that I brought mom a cold drink and gave it to her without putting a thickner in it when in realaty the cold drink they saw almost empty on her bedroom table was one my sister left 2 days ago and they failed to throw it away. Yes, that got under my skin. Then when I talked to a brother that never goes to see mom, told me he wanted me and another sister to go talk to our 91 yr. old mother and tell her how they and I was treated yrs. ago, and even now, got under my skin even worse. I have no interested in causing mom to have a heart attack. To tell mom her brother died of an infection or clogged colon because of the nurshing home he was in, instead of letting her believe he died of a stroke, as the so called smart ones told her, would only make matters worse. The only way I can stay calmed down, is staying away from my so called family members and the nurshing home, but as long as mom is alive, I have to deal with the stress and insults. That is why I come to face book to read peoples beautiful post, look at beautiful pictures, read funny jokes and play games. To relax. My facebook friends are my true family. As was the one who gave me this site to come to to get advice. I love her dearly.
Wonderful read. Thank you very much. I will be getting those three books you mentioned.
I want to add one more thing to believe in god . Once u start believing in god ur all problems and negative thoughts start vanishing day by day. Ur blog is really helpful for me
My thoughts re kinda getting free now….thanks for sharing
i am completely frustrated in my life . whatever i wanted i life could never get it ,it was always opposite that happened with me .. have become a die hard pessimist .. just want to forget everything and be happy .. found the wrtiting good ..hope that i may be able to retain it in myheart and make my life peaceful
I’ve been trying to find peace for a while now and I would like to say thanks a lot for this article. I will be sure to take note of these points and apply them immediately.
I was unable to find peace within myself, After reading this blog, i got some confidence, I always feel alone and lonely. I have to live alone. I cant do anything about that. I love someone and she doesn’t care for me. That makes me feel more lonely. Now, I think meditation can will help me.
a good post.
If somebody is doing this things atleast 50% then they are great.
I love everything that you said that there was some parts I actually was nodding my head in agreement. I am a college student and I go to school on the ocean. Having that little bit of nature that I can sit and relax at can clear my mind within seconds. Also I dont think people do realize the affect a smile can have on a day. Its like a positive domino effect waiting to happen. And like it was mentioned just accept what you can not control.. I live by “let go let god” and “dont let a minor become a major” letting go of the little things can calm a person down alone..
I want to respond to this post with a few words to those who can’t seem to find direction in their lives. I know this feeling all too well. The overwhelming sense of pointlessness that comes with a deep despondence to life. The feeling of standing against the shore with the wind blowing on my face wanting and hoping for some sort of feeling to return. Wondering where the bliss has gone that was once as natural as the passing seasons. Longing for my true self to return and no place to turn. Relationships become sour and the isolation that is felt when you feel that no one understands you. Feeling as though you will never be understood. But you smile in hope that no one will see your pain. It feels fake. And to every soul that reaches out you want to plead to them just to feel connected. And yet your misery isolates you. I have been there. Deeply.
And I promise that there is a way out.
A morbid as this my seem this is the truth of depression and being caught in it’s grip is like being caught in a tide dragging you out to sea. You swim as hard as you can against the current until you become exhausted and wonder if your efforts are fruitless. Can my own efforts save me? The answer is yes. But I assure you it will be impossible on your own. And yet it is only you that can save yourself. The choice then is always, do I choose to sink…
Or do I swim?
People say that positive thinking is enough. It isn’t. That is the truth because what we are looking for, more than anything is something to believe in. We become ultimately what we believe and our lives are a perfect reflection of this. Depression is a self fulfilling prophecy. We become that which we so desperately seek to avoid without ever knowing we are affirming the exact condition we seek to relieve ourselves from. Positive thinking is always a lie… To begin with.
The problem with moving away from depression is that thinking positive feels fake. This is the point when doubt sets in. Can it be this easy? I will never amount to this? How can sustain these efforts? People know I am being fake. All of these small voices are not a reflection on reality. They feel as though they are. They are the most powerful voice we know because it has been there so long. But nothing has infinite momentum. And everything will change. In time.
So then you ask, but if it doesn’t feel real. How can I believe in it? How can I believe in something that isn’t real. The fact is, you are depressed for a reason. And right now your outlook on life is the thing making you depressed. So the world becomes your depression and it all consumes you. You turn to things to make you happy. Retail therapy, alcohol, drugs… Anything to block the pain of not having to think about it. But all these things simply serve to exacerbate the condition.
You say tomorrow I will smile all day. I will put on a happy face and it will be okay. And it falls away because something still isn’t quite right. Why is this feeling still lingering? Frustration sets in and you feel worse than ever before. We can toy up and down with this cycle of emotions without ever feeling stable. Life becomes an unpredictable unstable yoyo. Unfortunately by seeking happiness we never actually become it. We only manage to realise how it doesn’t seem to be working. This is like saying I will start I diet tomorrow while stuffing your face with doughnuts. The idea seems nice but the conviction to stay that way falters. We are still feeding old ways of thinking.
So how do I become happy? How do I escape this relentless burden that sits on my shoulders. People say focus on the now. That is all well and good but when you are depressed the now doesn’t feel so good. Why would I want to focus on that? What this means then is that we must begin to think consciously about our life. To start making active decisions about our method of thinking. To make them now a conscious reflection of our choices.
You see depression is a contradiction. You cannot simultaneously be happy and depressed. They are opposite ends of the spectrum. So when positive affirmations come our way generally they are disregarded. Have you ever been given a compliment and then thought, they must be lying. I can’t possible be worthy of praise. And yet from their perspective they may have sincerely given it to you. These are opposing methods of thinking. The question you must ask is. Are you willing to start listening to your own loving kindness? And the kindness given by others.
Of course filling yourself with a false sense of appraisal is not enough. Telling yourself you are a master piano player when you are tone deaf will only ever set you up for failure. What we are looking for is a reality that is sustainable. One that reflects our deepest beliefs about the person we are. And there is only one way to do this. To live it.
But how? How do I live it? I don’t even know what that feels like anymore. How do aim at a target I can’t even see. I will be honest. It starts small. It starts as a glimmer of hope. It is the wind catching your face one day. And you consciously choose to enjoy it. It is hearing laughter of children and being thankful that there is happiness in the world. It is driving along with the sun warming your spirit. These things are small but you will feel them. And never let go. Never doubt them and always believe in them. Because they are the signs that you are on your way. And they are so precious.
Some people say that positive thinking is all a bunch of fluff. That they are not realists and it cannot be that simple. Thinking is simply a projection of the way we perceive the world. If it feels unrealistic perhaps that is simply proof that your previous methods were not right to begin with. This is not to say that one should fill their minds with fairy tales or false ideals. This leads us astray from a true sense of identity. And we are all so desperately seeking answers that faith in external things may become the norm. Your identity should be a reflection on what you value. And belief in your values is the next step.
So what do I value? This question is unique to us all. And yet when we are pitted against the things we would die for some of us would respond with nothing.
Others would say family, my friends, my pets, my religion, my god. I would willingly give of myself to these things because I value them. This is a sincerely personal question because belief is ours. And we have it for whatever reason. The next question is. Are my detrimental beliefs worth hanging onto or have I outgrown them? Have I moved forward in my life enough to overcome it. Questioning your beliefs is a powerful and life affirming endeavour. But ultimately they are yours. Own them. And become what you value.
Eventually you will see that life has its ups and downs. It is not meant to be all downs. You will learn not to feel despair during the hard times because life will have given you enough precious moments to keep going. And with it you will develop the tools to overcome hardships in your life. You will develop strategies and you will never fear slipping back into depression because you have escaped before. And you have overcome one of the most widespread common conditions that we share as human beings. Know that in time you will move towards a place of contentment about your life.
Feel free to contact me if you want to chat. I would love to hear your story or even how you overcame hardship.
i believe from now onwards that i am tranquil within.T his is certainly what i wanted.
Thank you very much for sharing 🙂
i dont know why i m feeling scared every time. worried about that any bad may be happen any time . feeling anexity every time . no inner peace in my mind, suggest me what should i do.
Try focusing on the present moment and tell yourself that you will deal with whatever happens, if it ever happens. Remember that problems and anxiety are always stemming from either our past or some potential future we think about. In the present moment, there is no such issue. Focus on the present. Peace is about being present in the moment.
Really educational and so helpful. Thank you for this guidance
Amazing article… All the things make so much sense to me… After just reading this, i can feel the change. I can feel the motivation starting deep inside… Well done author, you did not miss anything.
I am having the worse period of my life,i dont know anymore whatelse to do,i feel persecuted,
tormented,like i after to carry a cross for all the sins on this earth.i am exausted and tired.Few things happen in the past and i am not sure if i been taking the right decision.i think that the unique and most important is love.i wish i find my inner peace as soon as possible.
thank you kindly Tbeng and I will definitely look that up.
Thank you so much
this is a wonderful post indeed! Geoffrey, i am moved by your post when you say that you are taking antidepressants and seeking counselling and seem to get inadequate relief. you can try reading “the laws of success” by Napoleon Hill, I find it inspirational and very helpful. it was one of the things i used to help me get through my time of depression to direct me that inner peace that i was searching for. the points in this post are also spectacular and useful.
I’m at the point of my life where racing thoughts are running through my mind like death is chasing me. I know something is not right (not because i haven’t had a stable job in over a year) but just can’t seems to focus on the positive side of life. It’s almost like i know what to do but my mind is playing tricks on me over and over again in thinking about the past, present, and future including all bad thoughts of what could have gone wrong or what i should have done to make it better. It is very confusing for me at the moment and i come to find that seeking inner peace will be the answer that i’m looking for. Even though i’m currently on antidepressant medication i am still feeling the meaningless of many things in my life. I hope and pray that these methods will at least ease the pain i’m currently suffering. Seeing a counselor at the moment helps tremendously but there are days where i don’t want to see anyone or hear anything. I’m convinced that i am at a stage of manic depression but was told that it is mild to moderate. Regardless whatever level of depression that i’m currently in i really need to find peace within myself.
this is an informative and helpful article. i will make one critique – the saying is “can’t see the forest FOR the trees”, not FROM the trees.
Beautiful post! Thank you so much for sharing. =)
All these 10 ways to find peace (and MUCH more) have existed in print for a couple of thousands of years. It is called the Holy Bible.
I’ve fallen to pieces in the last 2 or 3 years. I really enjoyed this article and it’s really helpful. I’m trying to get out of this depression I’m in but it follows me around and I can’t shake it off – the more I try the worse it gets. When I read about tsunamis and the like, I don’t think how lucky I am, I get more depressed about the pain and suffering and injustices in the world. I know I shouldn’t worry about what I have no control over but that’s easier said than done. I pray I’ll get over this soon and this article is great. It’s a terrible thing living in fear. It really is.
Peace is within ourselves.
The world is for everyone to share, without bias or favour. If we look at the world through sunglasses, we will see the world dark. It’s our attitude and perception that distort the world.
We need to learn to accept that the world is fraught with sunshine, winds, rains, and sometimes, hurricanes.
Life will be too dull if we only see sunhine. Spring is refreshing thanks to three months of winter.
All bears know how to wait patiently in hibernation before enjoying the first rays of sunshine. Why can’nt we?
this really helps your article is great.
This is what I was looking for. Mine life is perfect in terms of basic modern needs but because of my disturbed mind (not related to our present life) makes everything worst.thanx for the writing and surely within two days I will get those two books also which you’ve mentioned. Thank you very much.its 1:29am…..and I’m still…..hope I will get inner peace soon.
This page was the start of me finding inner peace. thankyou very much, my life has changed since i read this.
Fast reading and helpful. Thank you so much.
Thanks for sharing this great article. I like that you view the subject from so many different perspectives, it really helps to get a holistic view of how to find inner peace 🙂
What a great list!
I am confident that letting fear behind and embrace faith is the great achievement in the art of living!!
Life is so WONDERFUL and rather short, so why don’t we choose the path of happiness by picking all that happens to us in life as a means to our own growth and evolvement? Let’s be more simple and less demanding and complicated.
In my opinion, the indians are great masters as they give value to whatever is reality arond them like the sun, the river, the trees and the animals. They respect them, they love them and they know that they are not separeted from the whole.
Let’s think like the indians and stop being fragmented. When we fragment things, our rational side is given more value therefore our sense of the whole decreases. And there comes suffering and ALL its consequences.
Let’s enjoy life!! by reflecting that we were the ones who chose to live it and how to live it as it is; by looking at the sky and thank the Universe for the gift of living; by embracing a child and feel its balance and happiness; by loving ourselves for being part of the whole! Let’s simply enjoy life. Pretty soon it is time for us to return…
Love to all.
Wow! This article makes so much sense to me. I am about to make a lot of changes in my life, and I read this at the right time. I am happy and will do whatever it takes to life a fulfilled life. Yes, the ups and downs are part of my life, but with much hope, faith and INNER PEACE, I can live the best life!
Namaste for this wonderful and much needed article!
No one knows me at all. I don’t have any friends. It wasn’t always like that. I don’t know what happened. I hope I can find peace.
I am very much depressed……………from 4-5 months and not able to find peace……so I will try to follow your steps…..
thank you, will try these steps out. I have been trying to find my goal in life, you know, a lot of people have plans…career goals…etc. All I ever want in life is inner peace. Its the ultimate success.
Just want to say reading this I Have decided to think positively… Let me see:-)
But it is a article which boosted me.
My past troubles me sometimes…m curious like hell and i find it very difficult at times…always wonder n worry about things that i have no power over…this is a superb article…very true and very factual as well…thanks for trying to make a change in this corrupted world…i guess sometimes loved ones will go but maybe facing the facts of life n being positive will help..
I believe I have struggled with depression for most of my adult life. I am a recovering alcoholic. The past few years have been challenging for me…my adult daughter was chronically ill, my 30 plus year marriage became very unstable,
I lost my job, the home I had lived in for 25 plus years was foreclosed with 90% of my personal effects lost, my spouse filed for divorce. I attempted suicide twice.
After the divorce I came to realize that my spouse had NEVER told the truth about anything….he was physically, emotionally and mentally abusive. I feel the last 30 years of my life have been a lie. I struggle to let go of the pain and anger…the sense of loss, but he and his deeds are never far from my mind.
I am currently living with another adult daughter. I have been here a year and she wants me OUT. The chronically ill daughter has since recovered and lives on her own…she no longer wants to share an apartment with me. I feel so very alone and lost…as if I don’t belong anywhere.
I have read the information here and I am going to try to use it to help myself.
Thank you very very much for sharing this wisdom. It came to me at the right time, when most needed it. The way you said things in this beautiful simple manner helps me get a more peaceful view on things in life. Thanks again!
I love the philosophy that life is a journey with ups, downs and flat road, learning with every step we take.
Great post! Just what I needed to lift the inner soul…
I care for a lot of people and do for them and I try too hard and then things go wrong and I am to blame for it. I haven’t had peace in years I am not sure i know what it is anymore. I usually keep fighting and pushing forward but the fight isn’t there I don’t see the point anymore. this article helps a lot.
Meditation activate mysteriously to give inner peace and vision to see universal reality
I have my own business as well and am an over achiever in a lot of ways. I think I am truly trying to make up for lost time. But as a result of trying so hard to achieve, my peace has suffered. I have moments of peace, but would love for it to last a little longer. I find myself upset and angry and even resentful often. I started a meditation class and should be able to resume it again in a few weeks. I’m really looking forward to it. Peace doesn’t come overnight for me. It must really be pursued. But it really is a solution.
I was at peace and happy, not until the love of my life cheated on me from the beginning. I used to carry on after came across any problems but not this time. So painful and I was devastated, my life was shattered. I’m actually starting to pick up the pieces, trying so hard coz I want my life back. Unfortunately each morning I wake up, it haunts me what they have done to me. Probably I need to ACCEPT it coz like you said you cannot change what had happened and HOPE someday I will be free and find my inner peace.
“Learn the power of a smile” Is it work for inner peace.? I think meditation is the best way for finding inner peace.
My life goal is to find inner peace which I never succeced in. I’m putting faith in these 10 ways so I can find peace.
The Truth is that Jesus made us and wants us to get to know Him and ask Him to save us all from sin and hell that lasts for ever. This is why I wrote this. It will help you. Otherwise, if you find me a liar, I shall be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around my own precious neck.
Enjoyed reading this article, thank you very much. These days I find that believing peace to be something that is separate and outside of me is the cause of most non-peace! Nature is such a great teacher when it comes to peace too, like you say.
Thanks again for the great read.
Thank You…I have found the inner peace i have been searching for, i feel very much relieved and alive…these ten steps are an inspiration. much love
I pretty much do the 10 things listed here (except meditation) but I have this boss that is threathening my career and causes me so much anxiety that I have to take medication because I may no have a job and be able to provide for my family. I have done all he asks me to do but he is never satisfied. I will probably lose my job because of the power he has over me.Peace is hard to find.
for the last 3 months i have been looking for someone to teach me how to have peace with myself. i have been looking on youtube for videos ith words of advise.
i have been looking for words of advise from the daili lama himself. but there where so many people that gave me advice that had to do with their form of life.
you just gave me the perfect advise. it does not have to do with boeda or jezus christ. this is just simple basic advise. i thank you so much.!!
i was always thinking about my future (not in a bad way) but still i troubled me
i was always having stress about what other people think of me.
and i never stood still about the smaller things in life. for example a smile
until now. i thank you so much. you transformed my life in something way better. 🙂
(sorry for the bad english its not my original language :D)
thanks for the wonderful article , it has helped me a lot … 🙂 thank you again …
Thank you for this. I’ve been searching for the past 5 years to find the calm and peace that I lost. Spent lots of money on self help books.. I never thought the answer could be so simple. Hopefully, I can stick with it and not let life distract me.
Thank you for this wonderful article. I am currently blogging about my journey toward inner peace at worldpeaceisinevitable. Your words are very helpful and encouraging
I’ve explored what it means to be present and live in mindfulness since first discovering it in this life as an adult while reading Thich Nhat Hahn’s Peace is Every Step. I find it interesting that we all have so many ways of interpreting and explaining something that is so simple it is hard. Thank you for sharing and please feel free to check out my take on the moment:
Its been along road and still living in my past with a real great guy, but I think its over. He kept telling me to see the forest from the trees. I have been so caught up in my past, negitive, and the pain I do not know how to let go. I never really thought about the world around me, What has happen can not be changed, But I can change this time now. I used to walk in the nature and would find it peaceful. I am going to take what you said to try and hopefully I can find the peace with in myself. No one deserves this stressful life of my past specially my guy who has more on his shoulders then me. Thank you for this !!! Hopefully my fight will be over and the peace I want in my life begins.
The internal peace which comes only from real positive thinking, medidation and surrendering oneself to GOD. “Jahi vidhi rakhe RAM tahi vidhi rahiye”
The fear of unknowing is a terrible thing. We need to find
balance in our physical, mental, and spiritual lives. Its like
starting all over and find who you are. Our thoughts and actions
makes us who we are and by thinking positive, letting go the
negative and letting loose is the key. This is all easy to say but
it really takes a big effort to practice. Never give up the
this is great
I understand what you mean we all get cought up in the world and what other people do but i feel that finding inner peace is a spitiual thing. I meditate daily and it helps its good
Thanks for the artricles. am in the stage where l sit and thinks of so muh negetive ,what someone said ,what they means. its getting me no where. l going to try mediation like you said.