I have known some very jealous personalities in my life. To be perfectly honest, I can’t think of any one of them that ended up being truly happy or successful. Jealousy has a way of destroying everything in front of it without regards. I can freely admit that I am not a jealous person, and I feel that it has a lot to do with the fact that I concentrate more on what I do than what others do. I believe that I could be a jealous person if I wouldn’t have this control over myself. After all, I am a very competitive person that thrives on adversity. I would seem to be the perfect fit to have jealous tendencies, yet I do not. Here are some tips that I live by which I believe can make a significant difference in controlling your jealousy:
Focus on your qualities
I spend more time thinking about what I do right than what I do wrong. We all have our faults, sure. But why should we be reminded of them constantly? I am a very positive person, I will look at the glass as half full. I do not see problems, I see opportunities. I feel that being positive and always looking at the silver lining helps tremendously in avoiding feelings of jealousy. Jealousy thrives on negative emotions, so take the negativity out of the equation and your jealousy can barely survive. You are the best positioned person to know what you are doing right. You are therefore the best person to remind yourself of all that is positive about you. Do not count on others to do that for you, because you cannot be guaranteed it will always be the case. If I do think of a fault of mine, I think of it in terms of what I can do to improve it. I never dwell on anything negative about me, I feel that is a big waste of time, and a trap to affect other emotions, such as jealousy in this case.
Do not compare yourself
One of the main reasons why people feel jealousy, is that they compare themselves to other people and what they have. We are all completely unique individuals, and once you fully understand this concept, you will realize that comparison among each other is useless. We all have things that others don’t have and vice versa. The combination of what we have and what we do not have is unique. Now, you can aspire to have something or have a certain characteristic like someone else. That is usually a positive feeling, which triggers motion and improvement. Jealousy triggers paralysis, and that is the difference. You cannot be someone else, you are “you”, so focus on being the best “you” that you can possibly be!
Remind yourself of the consequences
What good has ever come out of being jealous? I can think of only one and I will discuss it in my last point. But usually, jealousy only leaves a trail of hurt and disappointment. Why allow yourself to feel this way if you know nothing good can come out of it? This is about being in control of your own mind. I know that jealousy is a hard emotion to control. This is why you need to remind yourself of all the potential bad things that can result from expressing this jealousy. You are not only bringing yourself down by being jealous, but chances are, you are affecting other people as well. Do you really want to be the root of such a negative experience to the people around you? Think about the consequences as soon as your jealousy grows so that you can more easily tame it.
Assess your lifestyle
A friend of mine once told me that his jealous ways completely disappeared once he changed his eating habits into a healthier direction. I found this quite fascinating. Take a closer look at your way of life. Perhaps the source of your jealous ways lies in the fact that you do not have a proper diet, do not exercise enough, or do not have a constructive hobby. Lacking in these areas can have serious effects on your psyche. Doing activities that make you happy & feel good will only boost my first point about focusing on what’s good about you. If you are moping around your home, eating junk food, and feeling sorry about yourself, chances are your potential for being a jealous person will be much higher.
Channel your jealousy into motivation
Instead of letting the jealousy eat you up, think about what you can do about it. Do not linger endlessly into the feelings of jealousy, it will drive you mad and irrational. Concentrate on a constructive way to direct the energy that you are expressing due to this jealous emotion into something that you can benefit from. Allow jealousy to motivate you into being an even better person than you are. Let it push you to improve yourself. Instead of letting jealousy destroy you, you turn it around and make it work for you. You will soon realize that jealousy will turn into aspirations, which can then be to your advantage. Channeling your jealousy into something that can motivate you to change, improve, or grow is a wonderful way to gain control over jealousy and make it work for you.
I have seen so many people lose so much because of letting their jealousy get out of control. I hope this article can help others in such a position to gain control back over this combustible emotion so that they do not suffer the same fate.
How do you usually cope with jealousy?