How do you get what you want? It’s simple, all you have to do is ask! That’s right, it’s not that much more complicated than that. There is no complex answer to this question. What’s missing with most people is that for one, not everybody actually asks, and two, most people don’t know how to ask properly. So let’s go over how to effectively use the power of asking to get what you want out of life:
Ask with precision
You need to be extremely specific when you ask questions, otherwise you will not get the answer you are looking for. For example, when I started this website, I asked precise questions so as to get the answers that would make me create a site as I had envisioned. That included, how do I get a site online? What do I need to create a site? How can I acquire those skills? Who should I speak with to guide me? How much is it going to cost me? And so on…This is why your asking should include multiple questions, so that you pinpoint exactly what you are asking for intelligently. If I had asked only one question, such as “how do I get a site online?” without further precision, then I would get an answer that would be of very little use to me. Define your asking strategy with the W5 (what, when, why, who, where) & how.
Ask the party that can help
You can have the most precise questions, but if you do not ask the right person, you will not get the right answers. For example, if you want to start a business, are you going to ask someone that has never ever ran a business? Of course not, this person will not have the resources to help you answer your questions. I see this mistake being made all the time. People ask their friends for advice on issues that their friends have no business giving advice on. The result? A path in the wrong direction. This is why you need to counsel with someone that has the experience, knowledge, and expertise to guide you appropriately. Friends can mean well as they listen to you and try to help you, but that’s not enough if you want solid information to be conveyed to you which in turn transforms into effective results.
You can’t just ask and expect someone to give you something just like that. You have to make it interesting to that party. For example, I have a lot of emails on a daily basis from people that want me to promote their site or add a link to their site. Sure, I could do it, but tons of people out there could certainly use the benefits of having a link on my site, so in the end, since I can’t say yes to everyone I have to say, how is it going to be beneficial for me and the website? People that approach me with a solid offer will have my attention. The same can be said if you want to raise capital for a business venture. You have to show how valuable it will be to the investors so that they put up their money. Many people out there ask without creating value, and this is why it usually gets them nowhere. Make it interesting for the party you are asking and you will dramatically increase your chances of getting a positive response.
Ask with total belief
Whatever you are asking for, you must have 100% confidence in it. If you doubt yourself, why should someone else not doubt you as well? I see this quite frequently when I train salespeople. When they have this attitude of “oh, I won’t approach this client, I know he will reject my offer”, their entire physiology and their psyche convey a defeated appearance. Chances are, the client will pick up on it and not buy. You need to ask with absolute conviction. Show that you are sure of yourself, of what you want, and of your success. Also, be sure of the value you can provide. It can’t be wishy-washy. No “if’s” or “but’s”; have complete certainty in your entire presentation.
Many people ask according to the four points just mentioned, yet they don’t seem to get what they want. This is because they do not ask until they get what they want. And this is the key that makes everything work. You need to be relentless, and not give up until you get the answer you were looking for. Now, I must stress that you absolutely must show flexibility. You need to be open minded and try different techniques. Try asking different people, in a different manner, and providing different value. You have to change and adjust until you achieve what you want. Think of it as adjusting a TV set until you get the proper image that you want. Don’t give up while there are lines and a poor quality image. You will only get frustrated with this over time. Try different cables, tweak your antenna, change your cable box, whatever you need to do to get the image you want. Never give up asking, because the answer that you are looking for is out there. Don’t let rejection or getting the wrong answer phase you. Think of it as a step closer to the right answer 😉