Habits run our world. Everything that we do in our life is out of some particular habit that we have been accustomed to for some time. Succeeding is a habit, but so is failure. You can get stuck in a cycle of constant failure, which can be very subtle that you may not even be completely aware of it. Life is full of tiny to big situations in which you either succeed or fail. Let’s take a closer look at how to detect if failure is a habit in your life and what you can do about it:
DIAGNOSIS
Repetition of errors
Are you seemingly faced with the same problems over and over again? Life is about learning lessons and evolving. It is not normal to be continually faced with the same issues all the time. For example, someone that keeps running into the same relationship issues, regardless of the partner involved. That’s a sign that certain errors are being repeated. How about at work, or with friends, do you always have the same conflicts? You may think, “oh, it’s because my personality is this way or that way”. You are wrong. If you have issues that are constantly following you, it is not about being a certain way, it’s about a lack of learning appropriate lessons due to being into a habit of failing. This habit is blocking you from learning the lessons you need to learn to advance, which brings me to my next point.
Lack of progression
Perhaps you are not repeating the same errors, but perhaps you are standing still. Progression is crucial in any area of life. We are made to advance, evolve, and change. For example, you are stuck in the same position at work for years and years. Or, you have your own business, yet it is not growing and pretty much giving out the same results each and every year, without any type of growth. These are signs that you have taken the habit of failing. As I mentioned, it is very subtle. It is hard to comprehend that lack of advancement (even if you are seemingly doing well) is failing, but it really is. Standing still in this world is like going backwards. Everyone and everything will pass you by, so you will find yourself behind. Without realizing it, you have accepted this lack of progression as normal, and it built into a habit.
Self Worth
The two points above also tie into this point. What do you think you deserve to have? You see, the habit of failing is directly connected with your self worth. If you feel like you are not worthy enough to do a certain task, or obtaining a particular status, then you are building the foundation for the habit of failing. To succeed, and to advance, you have to believe that you deserve it. Feeling like you are not worthy enough is pure self sabotage within your own mind. What it does is that it triggers certain behavioral aspects to react in a way that ensures that you get what you think you deserve. For example, someone who is dating this great person, but is always thinking, “I don’t deserve someone that great!” What happens when the relationship ends, the person then thinks “I knew it, I was right all along.” This person’s feeling of lack of worthiness probably caused the relationship to sour so that it accommodates what the mind truly thinks should be the ideal situation, in this case, being with someone worse or being alone. The same happens with people and money and success. I’ve seen this many times, where someone with genuine self worth issues completely destroys any opportunity to have experienced success. Remember, that to get it, you can’t just want it, you have to believe in your heart that you really deserve it.
SOLUTION
Breaking the cycle
The best way to breaking the pattern of habitual failure is to get out of your comfort zone. Comfort plays a big part in failing over and over again. Although failure is a relatively negative experience, you may find solace and comfort within such an experience. How so? You’ve noticed that failure didn’t kill you. You survived that failure, so you know that failure isn’t the end of your existence. So, in a weird twisted way, you have embraced failure as something that you can actually live with. Instead of learning a lesson out of it and say “never again”, you are saying, “ok, I survived this, so I am ok with it”. What you want to do is get out of this zone of solace for failure as soon as possible. You accomplish this by doing something completely out of the ordinary that is positive and constructive in nature. For example, you may think you are not a sociable person and don’t like talking to people because “you are this way”, but how about breaking that pattern and just talk to someone you normally wouldn’t? How about taking that risk that you usually wouldn’t? It doesn’t have to be a huge gesture, just something to break the ice. How about smiling when you usually don’t? Or saying thank you, or keeping your cool instead of getting angry? Such moves takes you out of the comfort zone so that you can see that the “other side” of your comfort zone, isn’t so bad after all!
Creating momentum
Once you break the ice, don’t stop! Get the ball rolling and build momentum. Just like the habit of failure was injected into your existence, you can inject the habit of doing constructive, positive things into your life. For that to happen though, you need to keep doing it. Not doing it, is standing still, and remember what I said about standing still…it’s like going backwards. And in this case, it would continue to feed the habit of failure. Momentum is a beautiful thing. It builds onto itself, so the only thing you have to worry about, is not giving up. Keep at it, and have faith. The rest will follow, seemingly like magic. But it’s not magic. It’s you creating a new habit. Soon enough, you will appreciate all the things that this new habit is providing you with. Make it a habit to keep your momentum going, and watch how every aspect of your life transforms!
They say that the best way to get rid of a habit is to replace it with a new one. If we are to listen to this doctrine, how about replacing the habit of failing, with the habit of succeeding? Makes sense doesn’t it? And this is what this article is all about. Building a new productive habit while getting rid of the unnecessary habit of failure. As you can see, habitual failure is extremely subtle. It could be tiny little things that you may not even have been aware of, but they stack up and reveal a pyramid of disappointments. Make sure you don’t repeat the same errors. Make sure you keep evolving and improving. Believe that you are deserving of all that is wonderful in this life. Break the pattern by doing something positive and productive, completely out of your routine. Then, build that momentum to solidify the new habit of succeeding. All that is left then, is to ride the wave 😉
