Right after the death of a loved one, divorce is rated as the highest stress factor any person will face. Even if you part on good terms there are so many details to consider especially if you have children. How can you cope with a divorce and not have a breakdown in the process? Here are some tips to keep mind.
Don’t do it all yourself:
It’s always wise to seek legal advice, no matter how amiable you and your soon-to-be-ex are with each other. With so many details to work out, it’s a good idea to talk to a lawyer about anything involved such as stocks, housing, vehicles, child visitation rights and so forth. There has been more than one case where friendly ex’s turn into bitter enemies over night. Protect yourself and get legal advice.
Also, if the split-up is taking its toll on you mentally and emotionally and you find it hard to cope, you may want to seek psychological help as well. Having someone to talk to that isn’t close to the situation is often comforting. You can vent your fears and frustrations while getting workable solutions in return.
Don’t put your kids in the middle:
Never put your kids in the middle of a divorce. Too many parents use their kids as pawns to hurt the other person or to try and get what they want out of the breakup. Always treat your ex with respect, especially in front of your children. They didn’t ask to be brought into this world, and certainly don’t want to carry buckets of hate back and forth between their parents. Nobody will come out a winner, and nobody looks like the good guy when you badmouth each other, you’re simply teaching your children that relationships are very painful and setting them up for their own problems as they get older. Talk to them if you see fit and explain that they’re still loved and will still be taken care of even if Mom and Dad don’t live with each other anymore. You may also want to seek counseling for your children to help them through this rough time.
Take care of yourself:
It’s easy to put on weight and stop caring about our appearance when we go through a divorce, but the best way to bounce back is to take care of yourself. Eat healthy, get enough sleep, spend time with friends and family. Don’t cloister yourself, eating bags of potato chips in front of the television. It will only lead to health problems and more depression. Besides, one of the greatest feelings is when you see your ex somewhere down the line and knowing you look better than ever!
Don’t date too soon:
It’s natural to want to find your Mr. or Ms. Right when you’re going through a divorce, but give yourself some time. You won’t be in the best mental or emotional state of mind for a relationship. Even if you despised your ex or parted as friends, it usually takes 6 months or so before we can fully get ourselves back and untangled from the person we spent so much time with. You want to attract the best person possible and hopefully make things work the next time around. Don’t jump for the first person that comes along. When you’re feeling desperate, you’ll attract someone who likes that desperation, and that’s a sure recipe for disaster. There are plenty of people in the world and plenty of time for dating. Right now you need to focus on yourself first.
Getting over a divorce isn’t easy, but by being honest and respectful to both yourself and your ex-partner, you can move on and eventually enjoy a stable and happy life once again.