Ever asked yourself that question?
Most of the time, we all know what we need to do in order to attain our goals. That’s not the issue, we know what needs to be done. We just don’t do it. Why is it so hard to do what we must do to succeed, if we really want to succeed?
Perhaps you don’t want it THAT BAD?
That’s probably the case. You may tell yourself you want to succeed, but if you cannot do whatever it may be to get there, then you don’t really desire it. You are not “hungry” enough. You want it, just not bad enough.
So what causes this?
Comfort. My mother always said, “Don’t be TOO comfortable, otherwise, you stop advancing”. It’s true. When you are in a position where you are comfortable & safe, it is extremely hard to get yourself to move out of this “zone”. After all, it is human nature to seek comfort. Even if you may be looking at even more comfort with the added success, you are just not willing to give some of that current comfort to get there.
For example, I have a friend who was looking into starting her own business. She had a great idea, good plans, and was pretty much ready to go. However, she needed to go at it full time. Therefore, she had to leave her current job, and she didn’t have a problem with that. The problem was, with the lack of money she would find herself with for the next year or so. You see, for her, she couldn’t give up her shopping, her nights out, her fancy suppers, etc. to fund her business. She was not willing to give part of her comfort to ultimately gain more later on. Yes, she wanted to do this business. She understood that in the long run, owning your own business is more beneficial than her current situation. However, she obviously did not want it bad enough. Because if she would have, she wouldn’t have a problem giving up some of her current perks to eventually gain much bigger ones.
Also, the fear of change & being stuck in a routine can destroy your motivation to move ahead. It’s like stepping into the unknown, and yes, we naturally do not like this. However, the quicker you understand that evolving is necessary for success, the easier it will be for you to get yourself to do what you need to get done. Just know that you can adapt to any new situation. Humans are made to be this way. This is why we can live in very hot or very cold weather for example. We have a tremendous ability to adapt, so keeping that in mind eases the perception of change.
This fear of change is arguably the biggest hurdle that keeps people from doing what they could be doing to get better and better. Two of my favorite sayings from my years in sales fit very well to help with this matter:
Do what you fear & you control fear
The pain of change is forgotten once the benefits of that change are realized
Basically, fear nothing…face it and the fear will dissipate. Then your problem is gone! Also, know that any set back is temporary. Yes you may have to give up a few perks, but once you have that reward in the end, do you think you will even remember the pain of that change? Absolutely not!
Another example I have is a friend of mine who was working from home. He had been for a few years and was used to getting up at the time he wanted and doing whatever he wanted. After all, that was the great perk of working from home. No pressure, and no one telling you what to do. However, when it came time to expand his business, he had to give those perks up. He had to wake up very early, and work constantly, without being distracted to do other things non-work related. It was a real struggle for him to give that up. But once he realized that it was necessary for the survival of his business, he found the strength within himself to alter his habits and move forward.
His business grew very much and he added many new revenue streams. He can now go on longer vacations, and get himself items he always dreamed of. Do you think he is still thinking about the awful pain of waking up earlier and giving up those work-at-home perks? Absolutely not! Especially not when he is counting the extra income he brings in!
I am going to write another blog soon about the motivating factors you can use to get yourself to do what you should be doing, as well as gloss over some other demotivating factors that are more subtle.
This article was featured in The Second Edition of the Carnival of Improving Life
The fear part I’m over, but the comfort makes a lot of sense! I, too, work from home and I don’t have too many responsibilities. I probably will never be fired even though I do very minimal work, and I get paid a pretty comfortable salary. It makes sense that I would not want to give that up to work harder for what I really want. But reading this left me hanging there..
What’s the ADVICE or SUGGESTION or CONCLUSION to this? What do I do?
Fear is such a controlling factor most just don’t even realize it. There are ways to use that fear to motivate you though such as fearing NOT doing something more than fearing doing it. I’ve written more on this with goal setting and achieving results if you’re interested at my link. Nice article, very true indeed.
Fear is such a controlling factor most just don’t even realize it. There are ways to use that fear to motivate you though such as fearing NOT doing something more than fearing doing it. I’ve written more on this with goal setting and achieving results if you’re interested at my link. Nice article, very true indeed.
I think that you are right Frederic when you say that fear is the reason many people don’t reach their goals. We have to change the way we think to discipline our minds. If we can shift our perception to see the long term benefits of our goal setting more people would be willing to give up some comfort.
If you consider an action plan to stay focused and provide motivation for your goals you have a much better chance of achieving success. At some point you have to decide to take action and find the courage to go after your dreams. Think about what you could accomplish if you started today.