I came across this good piece recently on anger and how it affects people in society. I liked that one of the fundamental points in how dealing with anger was mentioned, as it is probably the most important one, and one I’d like to review in this post.
You’d have to admit that we are a pretty angry society. People do and say nasty things to each other, and driving down any boulevard will prove to you just that! Anger expressed or suppressed is not the answer. The key is channeling the feeling of anger towards another, more appropriate feeling. Bottom line, you do not have to feel anger, even if there is chaos around you.
For example, you are late for a meeting and you are stuck in traffic. The majority of people will be sitting in their car cursing, and yelling at the people in front of them to move. We have a strong sense that anger will create results, or changes, and this is why we express it in situations where even getting angry won’t change a thing.
It’s an illusion.
In situations you have no control over, simply accept that fact. Getting angry will not make the traffic move quicker. You could be sitting there thinking happier thoughts, and the end result will be the same…so why choose the negative, destructive emotion? You will be late. It happens, and it was out of your control. There was nothing you could have done. Choosing positive thinking in such a situation is NOT admitting defeat, or giving up. As a matter of fact, it is a sign of control. You are controlling yourself, which is a victory in and of itself.
Anger is fairly high with people that have high expectations of themselves, which are quite frequently ego-centric personalities. Perfectionists tend to “lose it” when things are going as planned. People with large egos take it personally, because they “deserve better than this”.
Know that life is unexpected and things do not follow a particular plan.
The Universe can be argued as all coincidental chaos. We do not know what will happen next. We can assume, but we cannot guarantee. So let’s not take it so personally when things do not go our way. There is a positive lesson to be taken from any situation, you just have to look for the positive, instead of focusing on the negative.
Anger bottled up inside or bursting out is hazardous to your health. Every time you lose your cool, you are probably shaving off a few minutes off your life. Imagine if you are frequently getting mad. These minutes add to hours and days and eventually years. As well as shortening your lifespan, think of the effect it has on your health in your remaining years!
Next time you are in a situation beyond your control, simply accept it. Accept the fact that nothing you can do will affect the outcome. The only thing you have control over is how you react to it. React to it in the most beneficial, productive way you possibly can. If you can fully understand and apply these last few lines, you are on your way to completely reshaping your life. A new life, free of anger 😉
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